In Cyberspace children chat, argue, and flirt with people they will never meet, see, or know by name. Parents should be concerned with their children's safety on-line, namely, whom they talk to and what they talk about.
With the availability of the Internet came the opportunity for the kids to access different chat rooms. And granted, for some kids it's more interesting to visit a kids chat room and socialize with their peers, but at some point curiosity might lead them to other, "adult", chat rooms, where they may be exposed to all kinds of sexually explicit talk. Kids with preexisting anxiety difficulties are especially vulnerable to inappropriate material.
Child Molesters and Pedophiles On-Line----
Especially disturbing is an issue of the danger of encountering child molesters and pedophiles on-line. The reality is that in real life it is hard for those people to search out and lay hands on victims. Cyberspace is a perfect place for long and private conversations and an opportunity to gain a child's confidence and lead him/her into a face-to-face encounter. There's a great chance that a befriended child will give out his or her address or at least a phone number to an adult who is posing as a teenager in a chat room, thereby risking his or her safety.
Even if parents teach their children not to give out their personal information to people they meet on the Internet, interested adults can always find a way to obtain desired information. For example, they might not even ask a child to for a home phone number, they simply tell the child to call them collect. And after the collect call the child's number will show up on the stranger's phone bill. Or they might tell the child to call direct and then simply use Caller ID to identify the phone number. If your child actually considers meeting a cyber stranger, the consequences can be tragic. There are many examples of kids being abducted and molested as a result of these meetings.
"Jessica," a 13-year-old from Massachusetts, is an example: her relationship with an adult began with an on-line flirtation. She ended up running away with a 22-year-old man with a criminal record.
"Katie," a 14-year-old, was befriended by someone who claimed to be a 15-year-old girl. After talking for many weeks, the stranger suggested a meeting in the mall. Katie went . . . and the rest is tragedy. Parents, for the tips on how to make cyberspace safe for your kids, visit Safe Surfing -- Guidelines for Parents and
Restrictions and Filters on this Web page.
Cyber Sex and Children--
Cyber sex is another issue that should trouble parents. Research shows that Cyber sex has become a mania for all age groups, from 8- to 60-years-old. Of course, the most disturbing fact is that kids aged 8-19 have access to and use Cyber sex chat rooms regularly. As the New York Times health reporter, Jane Brody, wrote in her column, "Cyber addicts are likely to spend hours each day masturbating on the Internet."
As for children, they are "addicted" to Cyber sex because, as one researcher has discovered, because it provides "fresh new ideas about their body image, and how their age is rapidly transforming their body into a different mould." Also, the argument is that it is easier to flirt on-line and to get aroused in privacy of their homes than to deal with actual people. That's why, parents should pay attention to their children's social skills: if he/she is lonely and has a hard time making friends, you should be extra careful with the Internet in your house. As a former professor from the Indian Institute of Mass Communications, Delhi, wrote, "Cyber sex is bound to produce obnoxious, depraving, and corrupting influence on children."
Unwanted Advances on the Internet--
Even if your child would not visit "forbidden" chat rooms and get involved with Cyber sex on purpose, there are still some dangers in browsing the net and talking in chat rooms. Your children might encounter emails/chat/bulletin board messages that are harassing, demeaning, or belligerent in nature. We are talking about unwanted advances from strangers that could still psychologically influence your child.
A government-financed survey stated that one in five adolescents and teens who regularly socialize on the Net have encountered a stranger there who wanted Cyber sex. In 75% of the cases, the youngster brushed off the advances, but what about those 25% who didn't? In these cases, children might end up talking about matters that are too early for them to deal with, being offended in some way, or being introduced to Cyber sex.
Are Chat Rooms a Waste of Time?
Another disadvantage of chat rooms is that many people, especially parents, consider them to be a waste of time. Many times, the content of the conversations children have in these chat rooms seems pointless; doesn't teach them anything new, it's just a pointless tossing of common phrases back and fourth, with occasional propositions to chat one-on-one, followed by a piece of personal information: ("guys, wanna talk with 15/f/NY?").
As an example, I have pasted here a part of a conversation from a children's chat room:
| On-lineHost: | *** You are in "Town Square - Lobby 26". *** |
| CuTeNCuDdLy030: | well i dont care if u do or not...mind ur own bussiness1 |
| GrEaToNe4EvA69: | any ladies wanna chat im me or press 69 |
| Speedracerckic: | any ladies wanna chat im me or press 69 |
| GrEaToNe4EvA69: | im very cute |
| PaulinaRI: | WHAT DO U MEAN |
| PRINCESS LIZETT: | any guys want to talk to a 15/f |
| Smileyface218: | 69 |
| ReDcHiK215: | ne one from Louisiana |
| PaulinaRI: | OH SORRY |
| PRINCESS LIZETT: | 69 |
| CuTeNCuDdLy030: | YO WIT A HUG AND KISS DIS QT IS OUT LIKE DIS!!!!! |
| ::MWAH:: | TO ALL U CUTE GUYS! |
| PaulinaRI: | I MISUNDERSTOOD U |
| Doodyburps: | I am not bad looking, but not great looking eaither. just normal |
| NellyFame65: | any 15/f have a pic press 55 |
| PaulinaRI: | I DO HAVE TO SAY THOUGH IM VERY PICKY WHEN IT COMES TO MEN |
| Jussy968385597: | ok thats ok |
| SLICK AJH 67: | anyone want to chat whith a 13/m/texas im me or press12345678909 |
| SaSSyPriNcEss828: | 18/f |
| Sunfire2199: | any ladies from mass or Ri im me 22/m |
| Doodyburps: | ::french:: |
| Longhornsr183452: | any horny girls press6969 |
| SaSSyPriNcEss828: | wanna trade pics |
| Jussy968385597: | i,m pickey to |
| Smileyface218: | hey slick ajh 67; |
| Jussy968385597: | thats why i,m alone lol |
| Speedracerckic: | anyone interesting in here?? |
Even if you just skimmed through it, you probably noticed that virtually everyone is talking with the intention to "hook up" and to continue to chat in private. No productive conversations, no exchange of ideas, no "healthy" arguments . . .only the danger of a talking partner turning out to be a child molester. Many parents, who have read these conversations, don't approve of their children chatting on-line anymore.
Advantages of Chat Rooms--
In spite of all of these dangers that on-line chatting might generate, researchers found some advantages to on-line talking. For instance, being able to chat anonymously may be beneficial to many kids. Children who are shy and have social anxieties and disabilities can practice social interactions on-line.
One of the social disabilities is Asperger's Syndrome -- people with severe deficits in social interaction who have some degree of language disorder, related mostly to the use of language for socialization. Children with AS generally have difficulty with social skills and are often teased or ignored by peers. Chatting on-line can help kids with AS, severe shyness, and other social disorders. Research shows that it is easier for shy kids to set limits on each other's unwanted behavior, probably because they don't fear rejection and alienation from other peers. In addition, chat rooms are beneficial for children who live in remote locations or who have to stay home because of medical reasons.
Chatting on-line should be a concern for parents. However, keep in mind the endless advantages of the Internet. We should be able to make sure that our children make use of it the right way. Parental vigilance is necessary to encourage safe and fun ways to chat on-line and use the Internet in other useful and educational ways.
